hi. I just came back from chalet. it was kinda boring. but I love nights where I can just sit back and stare blankly and converse with myself. happy birthday brendan. -.-

I feel anxious to advance. Theres really nothing left to do now. I just want to go back to school and try to pull up my underaverage GPA. and for music. If no one is there to do it with me. I guess I might even resort to doing everything myself. thanks for wasting my time. and money.

I feel like building the wall again.

Ee Rong. Reclusus.

omg k. I just watched District 9. yea I kinda downloaded it >.< (dont judge me). Its friggin awesome. I love the way they show the way humans would treat aliens if they came in poor and malnutritioned. The way a government might handle it and the truth hidden by the media. Its awesome. Though I was kinda freaked out by the way the instable mutation of the protagonist was so ughhhh... I mean, his nails and teeth drops off. haha

Watching the show kind of puts you in a position where you would support the protagonist against the human race, which is kind of cool because thats what the world is like now, with the exception of an alien slum.

do yourself a favour and watch the show, its so freaking cool. I don't care, download it or something.

haha I'm eating cereal right now. its probably the best cereal i've ever tasted. k maybe exaggerating. but its really really really good. Post's Blueberry Morning. its like Honey bunches of oats (mmmmm). only with blueberries >.<

i mean. other cereals, like Cap'n crunch and stuff. their okay but after eating a few days u think "ugh too crunchy" or something. sorry captain !

haha. recording on the other hand, is going as slow as possible. its not even a humane speed. I doubt anyone has ever gone this slow. I just got sent the file to hear how it turned out. It turned out like shit. really.

Ever wondered how the world works on such odd aspects. Sometimes I feel that the culture in some parts of the world have evolved to a slow dissolving of tolerance on some taboo acts. The fact that people may accept some disturbing acts and shun others which are not as taboo.

Is it right that sex before marriage, which leads to unwanted pregnancy is accepted and commonplace in some countries ? Whereas some people are more prone to give a dirty look at some lesser acts of poor morals.

This world breeds on one thing. Stupidity. and lets not forget, Conformity.

on a lighter note.

Is it fair that I put in my time, money, and mind into working late hours just so someone else can use up his time on other hobbies. So that he can bitch to me about all his shit and how he's going to show those people who looked down on him, when I am the one who created all of this. Its not that I am selfish and do not want to gift my compositions. But if you do not even practice enough to be able to play my creations, spending all your time on playing flight simulator x instead, I do not think you deserve achievement. Nothing should be passive income after all.

Though I may have put in a lot of work for the album, it will only go as fast as it's weakest link. that is, Stop being such a wuss and do the only thing I ask of you. Record the parts I have written for you.

Other than that, guess the album is coming along fine. I wonder if anyone would be willing to sign us up... I do feel our sound quality might be mediocre. heh.

Guess what. I'm going to Japan. sadly It would interfere with 1 lesson of my piano and I can't join Greg's workshop because of the trip. but wouldn't it be awesome.

anyway i didn't get a job this holiday. OMG money was spent. I'll never wait for anyone else for a job ever again. Waiting is such a tiring thing to do. In the end, time is wasted because of another person. Is it not in your nature to seize the day ? I guess you should start by doing my recordings. After all, you have only been a let down.

Fear Of A Blank Planet

Sunlight coming through the haze
No gaps in the blind
To let it inside
The bed is unmade
Some music still plays

TV, yeah it's always on
The flicker of the screen
A movie actress screams
I'm basking in the shit flowing out of it

I'm stoned in the mall again
Terminally bored
Shuffling round the stores
And shoplifting is getting so last year's thing

X-box is a god to me
A finger on the switch
My mother is a bitch
My father gave up ever trying to talk to me

Don't try engaging me
The vaguest of shrugs
The prescription drugs
You'll never find
A person inside

My face is mogadon
Curiosity
Has given up on me
I'm tuning out desires
The pills are on the rise

How can I be sure I'm here?
The pills that I've been taking confuse me
I need to know that someone sees that
There's nothing left I simply am not here

I'm through with pornography
The acting is lame
The action is tame
Explicitly dull
arousal annulled

Your mouth should be boarded up
Talking all day
With nothing to say
Your shallow proclamations
All misinformation

My friend says he wants to die
He's in a band
They sound like Pearl Jam
The clothes are all black
The music is crap

In school I don't concentrate
And sex is kinda fun
But just another one
Of all the empty ways
Of using up a day

How can I be sure I'm here?
The pills that I've been taking confuse me
I need to know that someone sees that
There's nothing left I simply am not here

Bipolar disorder
Can't deal with the boredom

You don't try to be liked
You don't mind
You feel no sun
You steal a gun
To kill time

You're somewhere, you're nowhere
You don't care
You catch the breeze
You still the leaves
So now where?


haha i love this song. Anyway Opeth is coming this 28 October. if you're going. look me up. x) im going to japan. and all i can ever think of is my album.